I understand how the sexual double-standard oppresses women

feministhistorian:

just-smith:

Men are free to have lots of sex without comment, women aren’t. I get that.

But I have two additions to make:

1. It’s not ‘allowed’, it’s ‘expected’. These are gender roles, and they are parallel. Men are expected to be sexually active, women are expected not to be. This means that men and women are both under a lot of pressure to fulfil those expectations, and that both are punished by society if we fail to do so. If you think slut-shaming for women is bad and restrictive, you should try being a man facing virgin-shaming, and who is under unbelievable pressure every day to have lots of sex, or be less of a man. As with virtually every ‘women’s issue’, there is another side.

And you don’t think “virgin-shaming” exist for women? Women are told they are supposed to be virginal and be sexually active/available for men. It is called the virgin/whore dichotomy. Women are told they have to be sexual and virginal at the same time. “Virgin-shaming” exist for everyone, not just men. It is expected of men to be sexual and do you know who created that expectation? Men. Funny how patriarchy works.

Women need to be told that it’s okay to have sex, but men equally need to be told that it’s okay not to. That the former is addressed and the latter neglected is bad enough (misandry not being acknowledged is hardly news), but that it’s seen as a good solution to blindly promoted promiscuity, being a ‘slut’, and having lots of sex, actively works against the latter - you think men aren’t told all of that enough? Try to see the bigger picture here.

Misandry doesn’t exist, so it’s not being acknowledged. Funny how that works. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy. Shocking, I know. Everyone needs to be told it is okay to have sex on their terms and embrace their sexuality. This whole “men need to be told one thing and women another” is bullshit. Everyone suffers in our fucked up educational system where comprehensive sex ed is not taught in every single school. People know jackshit about sex and sexuality and that is a problem. No one argues it is good to just “blindly promote promiscuity” because feminist -shockingly- know not everyone wants to be promiscuous. Feminist tell men to embrace their sexuality and have sex on their own term. Funny enough, that is the same damn thing we tell women. 

2. The feminist version of this double standard is just as bad, but reversed. Let me demonstrate:

A man having lots of sex with lots of female partners? He’s a womanising misogynist, and any media depicting this lifestyle obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.

A woman having lots of sex with lots of male partners? She’s embracing her sexuality, any media showing this lifestyle is progressive, and anybody hating the way she acts is obviously a slut-shaming misogynist who obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.

Feminist don’t have some harmful version of the double standard. I don’t know what you are smoking, but I would love some! No one says men cannot have a lot of sex with women. Who do you think straight women who like having a lot of sex are fucking? Hint: not other women. Men can have many female sex partners and not be a misogynistic asshole. However, there are men out there who do see the women they fuck as just objects and their property. These men exist. There are also men are feminist who have a lot of sex with women. Have you actually seen media representations of women having a lot of sex? It is not empowering to say the least. It is usually incredibly misogynistic because it is depicting her as a “whore” who is using her body to trap a man, use a man, etc. The media does not depict an authentic view of peoples sexuality. I find it embarrassing that you think the media depicts women’s sexuality in a positive and progressive because women’s sexuality is usually always depicted for male pleasure. So fucking progressive. /rolleyes

The feminist knack to turn two parallel situations into both being oppressive to women and only women is uncanny, but it really doesn’t help the fight against male suffering. So can we ditch all double standards, please. Either you’re pro-promiscuity, or you’re not. It doesn’t make you sexist either way - but it makes you sexist if you’reboth ways at once. You’re a misogynist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (although, as shown above, this makes you a misandrist too), but you’re also a misandrist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (as our feminist does here - but again, the two overlap). 

Thank you.

You clearly do not understand the sex positive movement. Feminist are for promoting an authentic sexuality for everyone! That means we believe everyone should be able to do as they please sexually. Which means we support people who chose not to have sex and people who chose to have sex. It is you who thinks people should be forced to be pro-promiscuity or pro-abstinence. That is not how feminist works. Feminist fight to end the way people view sexuality which only hurts everyone. Misandrist don’t exist. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy but why would you know that? You want to uphold the system since it benefits you. You were also talking out of your ass in this entire post since you know nothing about feminism. 

tl;dr: you don’t understand the sexual double standard and feminism. This post is just embarrassing. 

Appropriate image is appropriate.

(via lipsredasroses)

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