Belladonna describes pornography in 9 to 5: Days in Porn (2008)
To the chick seeing this, who panics about her weight or how she looks, please don’t :) April Flores; proof bigger girls can do it just as well! p.s. she’s pretty stunning ;)
cba writing loads so ill do a short version of what i want to say
- If a boy see’s something in porn like for instance -blowjobs, anal, the use of sex toys, cock worship, bondage etc then because he’s seen that from other women he may expect that from his girlfriend and even if the girlfriend isn’t comfortable doing it she could feel emotionally forced into it with the fear of him leaving her. I’m not saying all boys are the same but when boys who are exposed to pornographic material at quite a young age they’ll grow up thinking thats the norm an thats what all women want because of what they see in porn. Some researchers have stated that the average age of exposure to pornography is down to eight.
- Porn gives women AND men doubts about what their bodies look like because most people in porn have (the media’s idea of) perfect bodies eg. slim, muscular, big symmetrical boobs, neat looking vaginas/penises,hardly any or no pubic hair, big penises. It makes people nervous and feel uncomfortable about how their body looks and makes them feel like they’re not good enough for their partner if their partner watches porn, they feel like they’re almost getting compared to the pornstars. It sets a standard of beauty and perfection that women and men can’t live up to. More men are suffering from performance anxiety because of the ‘impressive’ skills they see in porn, whilst women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform like a pornstar’.
- As long as porn exists, women will not ever be seen as equals to men with the titles like ‘chubby blonde slut gets fucked’ and all things like that. It’s extremely degrading and reduces women to nothing but sex objects with one purpose, which is to please men.
- 63% of people believe porn increases men’s expectations of sex with their partner.
- 45% of men fantasize about another woman, mostly their favourite pornstar while having sex with their partner. This is seen to be perfectly normal.
- 85% of people think porn has had a negative effect on women’s confidence
- 67% of people agree that women are under pressure to behave like porn stars in the bedroom.
- 31% of men say that they would happily cheat on their partner if there was no chance of being caught, purely based on how good they are in bed
~ill write more when i can be assed~
“Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry sh*t continues just shoot me now please”
- Lori Petty, Tank Girl
In other words….he raped her.
In other words…he raped her to assert dominance over her and objectify her and treat her like his possession.
Overlooked Safe Sex Tips!
Step 1 (Above)
Step 3 (Aftercare):
Click the photo for more info from UMM!
Celebrating sex without pills, rubber, or chemicals! Just straight up love.
FUCK OFF BACK TO HELL FUCK OFF BACK TO HELL FUCK OFF BACK TO HELL
get your anti-contraception, anti-sex-positivity, astro-turfing, quasi-religious bullshit off my bit of the internet
you’re not a “movement”, you’re a religiously-driven brigade that says shit like:
If anything can be said of our generation, it’s this: We want sexy back. Our parent’s generation, well, they lost it. They delivered to us a world with sky-high rates of divorce, abortion, and STDs; a world bored with sex and bored with romance; a world in which more and more people are turning to pornography to find sexual satisfaction; a world in which 1 in 5 women report being sexual assaulted, and the human body — the sexiest thing in the universe — is used to sell cars.
except you’re trying now to deliver it in a ‘I’m oh so down with the kids’ way by hijacking every meme under the sun.
I. want. you. off. tumblr. now. followers, rally?
Not Pandering to The Female Gaze Doesn’t Make Economic Sense
You know what people like? Sexy people. You know what gets people to spend money? Sexy people.
You know what’s proof the patriarchy doesn’t give a shit about economics? How rarely the female gaze is pandered to.
Whenever something panders to the female gaze, it becomes a MASSIVE hit. Supernatural, The Avengers, Twilight, Pirates of The Caribbean, regardless of what you think of these pieces of media, they feature attractive scantily clad men, and they all made LOADS of money.
There’s nothing wrong with scantily clad women doing suggestive things, provided they’re depicted as sexy people, not sexy objects (more on that later) the problem is this weird inexplicable imbalance. It’s as if there’s this unspoken rule that we must never or only rarely use sexy male bodies to sell a product, to promote a movie, and that’s a shame, for everyone. A great number of people love being sexualized at least a little bit, but men have been trained to believe wanting to be attractive is wrong or unmanly, and women have been trained to believe they’re not allowed to be attracted to physical attractiveness.
I mean, we live in a culture where Michael Cera is cast as a romantic lead. Fuck that, are men really so afraid of women masturbating to hotties that they WILLINGLY throw away bundles of cash? Sexy people are great, having your gaze pandered to is great, and pandering to horny ladies (and yes, ladies can be just as horn-doggy as men) is AWESOME (and economically sensible).
So Hollywood, and media industry in general, you want to make money? Shirtless men, full frontal male nudity that isn’t treated as hilarious or disgusting, and all the good looking men you can throw in there, because you’re not pandering to the gaze of like half your audience (straight women, and gay men).
The Panties is an Urban Pro-Sex Pro-Love radio show hosted by LadySpeech that’s all about better, longer, wetter, harder, magic, stronger, sensual, healthier sex, and the music that provides the soundtrack for the almighty orgasm. With rotating co-host we cover a wide range of topics that include but are not limited to good head technique, the best condoms, dating etiquette, to what it takes to get tested, to questions to ask your doctor during your next visit, and how to last longer in bed. We explore the good, the bad, the fantastic and the holy, and the dirtiest of dirty. We aim to educate, inspire, spark, energize, rouse, entertain, incite, excite, titillate, masturbate, motivate, stimulate, activate, all the while becoming better lovers.
SO YOU WANT TO WRITE A FANTASY:
How exciting! Fantasy is so fun! You can do anything you want to your universe, because it’s fantasy - which is really great, because you’ve always wanted cats to talk and everyone else to share your distaste of squash. Plus you could have magic! Or not, you know, low-fantasy works too. Maybe it will be another Epic/High fantasy, and surely you’ve got a trilogy in the works, or perhaps you’re writing steam punk…anything your heart desires! This is so fun!
What’s that you say? You say you have a hero in mind? Wonderful! Your hero is a strapping young farmboy? Yes? Well, okay. It’s been done before, but I trust you. He’s an orphan, you say? And the Chosen one? Oh, well alright. (Hey you steampunk novelist. Don’t walk away. I noticed you were writing about a young boy who wants to be an airship mechanic. It’s okay, just keep following along.) There’s a great big evil he must defeat in order to save his town, village, country, or the world? Well yes, there does need to be some antagonism in this story, so I’ll let that go, and of course your big evil needs monster or henchmen or something, and yes, this kid really does need a wiser, more experienced person to hel-he’s a man too?
Well you know it wasn’t uncommon for older men and younger male warriors in training to carry on relationships in certain societ- hmm? Oh they’re not gay? Are you sure?
I suppose. If you really feel that way. I just thought it would be interesting and realistic is all, but let’s get back to your story. So he needs a mentor, because he’s only a farmboy, and this older man actually knows what’s going on, but he can’t explain because…well you can think of why later.
What’s that? Oh! There’s a girl character? Lovely! What’s she like? I’m sure the hero here needs a friend, perhaps, or maybe a sister, or another advisor, and maybe just maybe- oh.
She’s the love interest?
Are you sure?
She’s particularly beautiful. Sweet, giving, and has been eying the hero now that he’s gone through some warrior training, and of course she’s graceful. (Is she an elf?) Oh, you gave her a sword. Well that’s a relief, those monsters/henchmen we tossed out into your world are crawling all over the place and so it’s a good thing to keep- she can’t wield it, can she?
No, no, you gave her a broadsword. Her fingers are soft and smooth like silk, you just described this two pages ago. A swords woman has callouses. And even if you lie about that, or gloss over it, you just gave a petite blonde a broadsword. (Do you know what a broadsword is? Have you ever tried lifting one, and then swinging it around for a half hour? Nevermind, don’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself trying.) She just lost the fight. So the hero could save her.
Let’s do this over again.
Particularly beautiful, blahblahblah, no broadsword. Okay. Good. She can’t fight? Well no, she couldn’t fight, she was trying to wield a broadsword on foot. That’s just not practical. What, you mean she really cannot fight? Well that seems stupid, she needs to do something-embroidery?
She’s going to embroider things? And do what, make the perfect cross stitch?
It’s because she’s a woman?
She’s a woman so she can’t fight, but she likes to embroider-
STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP!
We’ve gone too far! This is absurd. She lives in a world where danger is at every turn, and the worst she can do is bat her eyelashes and faint? Nevermind her craftiness, it’s not like she gets to use it to stitch wounds on the battlefield.
What do you mean it’s realistic?
This isn’t realistic! How is she alive when you’ve painted a big red target on her back that says “Beautiful noble thing the hero cares about - steal me, I’m helpless to stopping you!”? Well but she’s a woman, and women were supposed to be cooking and cleaning and having children in this time. What time? Whatever do you mean, dear novelist? It’s unrealistic to have her be powerful, she’s a girl!
But this is a fantasy novel! There’s no such thing as having to stick to one time period, and remember, we were so excited to do whatever we wanted to in the world because of this being a fantasy novel and all! But this is like Europe! It was a misogynistic society! There was patriarchy! I am trying to be accurate in my portrayals!
THIS IS “EUROPE” WITH MAGIC AND THE UNDEAD. OR STEAMSHIPS. AND FIRE BREATHING CREATURES. THERE ARE DARK FORCES INVOLVED. THIS ISN’T GOING TO BE ACCURATE.
Fine, you know what? You want accuracy. That’s cool. It’s okay to base your world off of stuff in the real world. So that’s why she can’t fight! Why are you arguing with me on this?
Well because maybe it’s why she can’t fight! But maybe it’s not. Let’s just FORGET Europe. Look at Japan - women in Samurai families could train with weapons in order to defend their homes! that was a patriarchal society, and they still trained those women to fight. Or how about Mongolia? Not only were women in charge of the supplies, home tents, and animals, but they could choose to marry and were supposed to initiate sex. And they could fight or be a battle strategist too! And hey, Genghis Khan actually made selling, kidnapping, and raping women illegal under his rule! Maybe we can avoid implying that all brown people have mandatory rape festivals!
Get this, she doesn’t even have to fight to be powerful! [ableist slur redacted], huh? A woman wrote the first modern novel, remember? Maybe she’s a novelist, and wrote the equivalent of the Tales of Genji. Maybe she’s a diplomat, some of the Mongolian women acted like that. Or maybe she’s an adviser - a political adviser. Maybe she’s the Queen! She’s not the Queen? Well, maybe she’s running the show behind the scenes. Or she’s a spy.
Want to hear something even [ableist slur redacted]? Not all societies function/ed under the western notion of what equality should be! Sometimes being the woman of the house means a whole hell of a lot because you run the place where people eat, sleep, and live. And the men have a totally different separate function in society that is not greater or lesser in standing. You remember seeing all those reblogs on why its not okay for white girls to run around in Native American war bonnets, right? They’re worn by men who have earned that right in battle, and women generally don’t wear them. They had their own regalia. A lot of non-western/white cultures don’t have the same norms, traditions, domains split between men and women but that doesn’t make it misogynistic or even unequal. Try looking up stuff like dual-sex/dual-gendered systems, female husbands, and matriarchies and patriarchies existing in the same culture or society. Not all cultures function the same way white Europeans do! Remember that when world building.
So your girl could totally be in charge of the household and not be a simpering helpless blonde. That household may put her equal to her husband or the hero who goes out and fights without a domain.
Remember that hero we had at the beginning? He’s now without supplies, transportation, food, a place to live, or any money or support. All he has are weapons. Because the women of your world are in control of the households. Men are warriors. Whoops. He’s not going to get very far without supplies. Now he has to learn to deal in this society by protecting the female domains who keep him supplied and clothed. Maybe he has to take up quests in order to afford the way to defeating the bad guy.
You want to write women who do stuff besides have babies? Awesome.
You still want her to be good at embroidery?
Fine by me. Just fine by me.
What do you do with that farm boy now? Don’t ask me, I don’t have the damnedest idea.
Reblog — reblog — a thousand times reblog!
There’s female vikings and shieldmaidens, Queen Boudica, pirate women, just to stick with warriors. There’s women who worked as field nurses in just about every single war ever, and if you think that’s not a skill worth writing about I’m not sure I want to read your books. And who do you think runs everything while your farmboy hero empties out towns of able bodied men to fight in his adventure war? Embroidery? Who the hell has time for that when there’s a farm to run, a mill to keep working, the town’s law to uphold and it’s defenses to coordinate. If your farmboy takes all the men into his army, someone is going to have to run the smithy and keep the horses shod. Someone is going to have to work in the factories making sure that the army has ammunition. Oh hey, and speaking of WWII: FEMALE PILOTS.
I do embroidery for fun. I knit. I weave. I can do pottery. I’m not bad with power tools. I’m a bit rusty but I know how to shoot a bow. If push comes to shove I can pick up most any blunt object and put a real beat down on someone, even though I haven’t had a lot of self defense training. I know two ways to kill someone with my bare hands. This is just me, Jane Q. Boring and if I’m more interesting than the female companion/love interest of Farmboy: The Chosen, that says a lot about how much you don’t think women are capable of, and your inability as a writer to make something that’s relatable and real. Get your nose out of Tolkien’s rear end and actually talk to some women, find out what the average woman is capable of.
Stuff like this is why my activism is all mixed up in my writing. Representation and normalization of minorities and oppressed groups and people outside the dominant Western narrative. The stories you tell are powerful.
Hey, there’s a reason my blog is called The Pen and the Sword.
WOAH i didn’t know all this stuff about women in history. this was informative.
All thins kind of reminds me of David Eddings series The Belgariad and The Malorean.
In some ways it very much follows the fantasy tropes (farmboy, chosen one, etc) but he has two main mentors. One is Garion’s grandfather and the other is his aunt. How is very much the HBIC. And kicks so much ass and has never settled down with a man because she’s never wanted to and has been too busy kicking ass and taking names.
Garion’s love interest is a girl named Ce’Nedra who is small, slender and can’t fight. She’s part dryad. She’s useless and whiny. And blah blah blah they start out hating each other but eventually fall for one another and yadda yadda and they get married.
Once married Ce’Nedra cranks out a kid who is kidnapped. Garion goes after said kid. What does Ce’Nedra do? Sit around weeping and wringing her hands? She can’t fight after all. But she is exceptionally good at getting her way. So she goes out and raises up this enormous army to help Garion in his search and kicks some butt and takes names that way.
Anyone who thinks sex education is unnecessary needs only to go on a fanfiction site and see some of the things people think actually work as lube.
Shippers. Cloppers. Grimdarks. Or those who just watch the show for the sake of innocent enjoyment. Does it matter?
I understand how the sexual double-standard oppresses women
Men are free to have lots of sex without comment, women aren’t. I get that.
But I have two additions to make:
1. It’s not ‘allowed’, it’s ‘expected’. These are gender roles, and they are parallel. Men are expected to be sexually active, women are expected not to be. This means that men and women are both under a lot of pressure to fulfil those expectations, and that both are punished by society if we fail to do so. If you think slut-shaming for women is bad and restrictive, you should try being a man facing virgin-shaming, and who is under unbelievable pressure every day to have lots of sex, or be less of a man. As with virtually every ‘women’s issue’, there is another side.
And you don’t think “virgin-shaming” exist for women? Women are told they are supposed to be virginal and be sexually active/available for men. It is called the virgin/whore dichotomy. Women are told they have to be sexual and virginal at the same time. “Virgin-shaming” exist for everyone, not just men. It is expected of men to be sexual and do you know who created that expectation? Men. Funny how patriarchy works.
Women need to be told that it’s okay to have sex, but men equally need to be told that it’s okay not to. That the former is addressed and the latter neglected is bad enough (misandry not being acknowledged is hardly news), but that it’s seen as a good solution to blindly promoted promiscuity, being a ‘slut’, and having lots of sex, actively works against the latter - you think men aren’t told all of that enough? Try to see the bigger picture here.
Misandry doesn’t exist, so it’s not being acknowledged. Funny how that works. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy. Shocking, I know. Everyone needs to be told it is okay to have sex on their terms and embrace their sexuality. This whole “men need to be told one thing and women another” is bullshit. Everyone suffers in our fucked up educational system where comprehensive sex ed is not taught in every single school. People know jackshit about sex and sexuality and that is a problem. No one argues it is good to just “blindly promote promiscuity” because feminist -shockingly- know not everyone wants to be promiscuous. Feminist tell men to embrace their sexuality and have sex on their own term. Funny enough, that is the same damn thing we tell women.
2. The feminist version of this double standard is just as bad, but reversed. Let me demonstrate:
A man having lots of sex with lots of female partners? He’s a womanising misogynist, and any media depicting this lifestyle obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.
A woman having lots of sex with lots of male partners? She’s embracing her sexuality, any media showing this lifestyle is progressive, and anybody hating the way she acts is obviously a slut-shaming misogynist who obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.
Feminist don’t have some harmful version of the double standard. I don’t know what you are smoking, but I would love some! No one says men cannot have a lot of sex with women. Who do you think straight women who like having a lot of sex are fucking? Hint: not other women. Men can have many female sex partners and not be a misogynistic asshole. However, there are men out there who do see the women they fuck as just objects and their property. These men exist. There are also men are feminist who have a lot of sex with women. Have you actually seen media representations of women having a lot of sex? It is not empowering to say the least. It is usually incredibly misogynistic because it is depicting her as a “whore” who is using her body to trap a man, use a man, etc. The media does not depict an authentic view of peoples sexuality. I find it embarrassing that you think the media depicts women’s sexuality in a positive and progressive because women’s sexuality is usually always depicted for male pleasure. So fucking progressive. /rolleyes
The feminist knack to turn two parallel situations into both being oppressive to women and only women is uncanny, but it really doesn’t help the fight against male suffering. So can we ditch all double standards, please. Either you’re pro-promiscuity, or you’re not. It doesn’t make you sexist either way - but it makes you sexist if you’reboth ways at once. You’re a misogynist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (although, as shown above, this makes you a misandrist too), but you’re also a misandrist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (as our feminist does here - but again, the two overlap).
You clearly do not understand the sex positive movement. Feminist are for promoting an authentic sexuality for everyone! That means we believe everyone should be able to do as they please sexually. Which means we support people who chose not to have sex and people who chose to have sex. It is you who thinks people should be forced to be pro-promiscuity or pro-abstinence. That is not how feminist works. Feminist fight to end the way people view sexuality which only hurts everyone. Misandrist don’t exist. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy but why would you know that? You want to uphold the system since it benefits you. You were also talking out of your ass in this entire post since you know nothing about feminism.
tl;dr: you don’t understand the sexual double standard and feminism. This post is just embarrassing.
Appropriate image is appropriate.
"The patriarchal idea that pregnancy is the only reason for a woman to have sex is one of the fundamental social idiocies of patriarchy - the idea that women’s sexuality exists only for procreation, except when it is for male pleasure. Thus, sex is “good” for those purposes and “bad” for any other, such as female pleasure.
This, in turn, leads to the peculiar idea that a woman should be forced to have a baby, to “pay,” or be punished for having sex and becoming pregnant, by having a baby. This idea shames women for being sexual. The inhumanity of the contradiction becomes glaring when we take it to its logical conclusion - the defining of a baby as a punishment."
[Idiocy is ableist, but I’m not sure what I’d replace it with. Too many words, probably. This quote is also ciscentric - there are people who can get pregnant who do not identify as women, and women who cannot get pregnant.]
Women aren’t the only ones who can get pregnant but, other than that, I agree.(via warmlittlediamondisafeminist)