cba writing loads so ill do a short version of what i want to say
- If a boy see’s something in porn like for instance -blowjobs, anal, the use of sex toys, cock worship, bondage etc then because he’s seen that from other women he may expect that from his girlfriend and even if the girlfriend isn’t comfortable doing it she could feel emotionally forced into it with the fear of him leaving her. I’m not saying all boys are the same but when boys who are exposed to pornographic material at quite a young age they’ll grow up thinking thats the norm an thats what all women want because of what they see in porn. Some researchers have stated that the average age of exposure to pornography is down to eight.
- Porn gives women AND men doubts about what their bodies look like because most people in porn have (the media’s idea of) perfect bodies eg. slim, muscular, big symmetrical boobs, neat looking vaginas/penises,hardly any or no pubic hair, big penises. It makes people nervous and feel uncomfortable about how their body looks and makes them feel like they’re not good enough for their partner if their partner watches porn, they feel like they’re almost getting compared to the pornstars. It sets a standard of beauty and perfection that women and men can’t live up to. More men are suffering from performance anxiety because of the ‘impressive’ skills they see in porn, whilst women feel insecure about their bodies and feel pressured to ‘perform like a pornstar’.
- As long as porn exists, women will not ever be seen as equals to men with the titles like ‘chubby blonde slut gets fucked’ and all things like that. It’s extremely degrading and reduces women to nothing but sex objects with one purpose, which is to please men.
- 63% of people believe porn increases men’s expectations of sex with their partner.
- 45% of men fantasize about another woman, mostly their favourite pornstar while having sex with their partner. This is seen to be perfectly normal.
- 85% of people think porn has had a negative effect on women’s confidence
- 67% of people agree that women are under pressure to behave like porn stars in the bedroom.
- 31% of men say that they would happily cheat on their partner if there was no chance of being caught, purely based on how good they are in bed
~ill write more when i can be assed~
"I daresay that the sexual acts I have described above are not ones that most women seek out in the real world, nor ones that most men feel comfortable asking their partner to engage in. Conversely, acts that are part of many people’s sexual experience, such as kissing, caressing, cuddling, and fondling, are noticeably absent in pornography. This forces us to ask why men who view porn are so attracted to images that depict types of behavior so at odds with the real world.
One obvious answer could be that men go to porn as a way to play out a fantasy, a way to conjure up mental images that are not real but nonetheless pleasurable. But if it were as simple as this, then why isn’t there an equal amount of porn that depicts women and men having great sex that involves deep connection and intimacy, with women having fabulous orgasms brought about by a highly skilled male lover who has an intuitive understanding of women’s bodies? This, too, would be a fantasy for many viewers, but it is clearly not one that porn chooses to represent with any regularity. Instead porn plays out “fantasy” sex that looks more like sexual assault than making love."
Gail Dines, Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality (via wretchedoftheearth)
This is the first picture of a person with learning disabilities (that I know of) on this blog. All people should be able to make decisions about whether or not they participate in sexual things. Developmentally disabled people are no exception.
Awesome picture! Don’t think I have ever seen it before, do you know where it’s from?
This is the story and campaign the picture comes from.
So it’s a positive sexuality ad. For people living with mental retardation (“learning disabilities” is the UK term). With Black folks. Who are fat. And super happy!
This is so great. I can’t imagine this campaign in the States, which is a shame.
Here is the full set. My fave of all of them is this one:
Tracy & Pernelle
It’s the cheek caress that does it for me.
"Gabriel Aguiniga, a gay employee at a Chick-fil-A in Colorado, also said the hardest part hasn’t been hearing Cathy’s comments. Instead, “[it’s] constantly having people come up to you and say, ‘I support your company, because your company hates the gays,’” Aguiniga, 18, wrote in an email. “It really takes a toll on me.”"
In other news, people are monsters. Excerpt from “Chick Fil A’s anti-gay controversy: Gay employees speak out“ (via invisiblelad)
"What is really being sold in a pornographic film? It’s a conception of sexuality that Dworkin identified— it is not just sex on film. It is sex presented in the context of domination and subordination. Pornography does not just eroticize or sexualize male domination over women. It eroticizes racism. It eroticizes every power dynamic that you can imagine. Think of any power dynamic that you know where there is a hierarchy. I can guarantee you that there is a pornographic film that eroticizes that dynamic."
male/female, white/poc, employer/employee, parent/child, etc…it is a sick sick industry.
i haven’t seen any sex-positive feminists defending racism as a valid “kink” yet (funny), but there’s still time.
edit: i HAVE NOW. nazi kink, for real.
and i read a good argument for the concept of “full-time” “slavery/ownership” in BDSM being inherently racist.(via discosherpa)
Straight people apparently aren’t invited to the party.
Even Google fucking gets it.
“Me love you long time” came into prominence with Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket,” (from 1987) as a Vietnamese prostitute tries to pick up Matthew Modine’s character with broken English. The phrase was then popularly picked up by 2 Live Crew in the song “Me So Horny.”
“It’s so many different kinds of slurs in one,” comedian Margaret Cho said. “It’s instantly putting you in the position of being a foreigner, an outsider and a sexual stereotype. It’s an all-in-one combo.”
~naturallaw for yahoo questions
The popularization by Mariah Carey’s ‘Love You Long Time,’ Fergie’s ‘London Bridge,’ and Nicki Minaj’s ““Muahhhh me love you long time like I’m asian” demonstrates how this exotification of Asian/A.American women is constantly recycled in the media, perpetuated by celebrities to obtain the hyper-sexualized image needed to make it big, especially if you ain’t got the talent.
I would get started on Nicki’s whole hyper-sexualized, Japanese dolled up shit, but racialious says it best. Well researched: here http://www.racialicious.com/2010/11/01/the-orientalism-of-nicki-minaj/
You can degrade yourself, but no, my sisters and I will NOT love you long time.
I’m sure we’ve posted about this before, but it always bears repeating.
"The patriarchal idea that pregnancy is the only reason for a woman to have sex is one of the fundamental social idiocies of patriarchy - the idea that women’s sexuality exists only for procreation, except when it is for male pleasure. Thus, sex is “good” for those purposes and “bad” for any other, such as female pleasure.
This, in turn, leads to the peculiar idea that a woman should be forced to have a baby, to “pay,” or be punished for having sex and becoming pregnant, by having a baby. This idea shames women for being sexual. The inhumanity of the contradiction becomes glaring when we take it to its logical conclusion - the defining of a baby as a punishment."
[Idiocy is ableist, but I’m not sure what I’d replace it with. Too many words, probably. This quote is also ciscentric - there are people who can get pregnant who do not identify as women, and women who cannot get pregnant.]
Women aren’t the only ones who can get pregnant but, other than that, I agree.(via warmlittlediamondisafeminist)
I find BBT to be much more tolerable than Community because it’s typically less racist.
I don’t know, the little brown boy line in BBt was pretty fucked up.
Oh I definitely agree with you. Raj serves as the token Asian in the series, complete with the typical treatment given to this sort of auxillary PoC character.
As is usually done with male Asian characters, Raj is desexualized and emasculated for the comic relief of the audience. He’s completely inept at attracting (always white) women and can’t speak to them without being drunk (“selective mutism” as the show calls it). What’s unique about Raj’s construction is that the show actually does make it clear that he has sexual desires and he’s often expressing these desires to his friends. —But, not surprisingly, his “condition” ensures that he’s never a potential threat to the white men of the crew & that the show writers will never have to develop his character in any sort of substantive/meaningful way.
The one time he did get down with Penny, the storyline was merely used to desexualize/emasculate him even further. Not only was it stressed that Penny only hooked up with him because she was ~*toootaaaallly shitfaced*~, but there were multiple jokes made about how he didn’t even get to engage in vaginal intercourse with her because he jizzed on her hand as soon as she touched his penis (or something along those lines).
Furthermore, the Howard character is constantly making racist jokes about India(ns)/South East Asia(ns) and developing countries in general. This is supposed to be totes okay because Leonard and/or Raj are always there to say “That’s Racist Dude!!” Of course, the audience isn’t actually required to challenge Howards racist thinking because he always quips back with a basic assertion along the lines of, “Hey, it might be stereotypical & racist, but it’s true!”
Oh, and let’s not forget!!—The token Asian character wouldn’t be complete without a “FOB” accent!! I mean, what the fuck would be fun about having an Indian-American character who’s not a first generation immigrant!? It’s unimaginable that Raj could be funny in his own right without all his goofy mispronunciations and cultural faux pas, amirite!?
Aaaand another thing…(last one I swear)…Sheldon—a white American—is constantly lecturing Raj about Raj’s own damn country, culture, and religion!! WTF!?
I totally understand that BBT is problematic and racist in MAAAAANNNYYY ways. I just happen to think it’s less offensive & racist on a consistent basis than Community.
I just can’t deal with a SNAP-MY-FINGAZ-N-A-Z-FORMATION Sassy Black Woman(TM)* character PLUS several other PoC Tokens(TM) ALL OF WHOM serve little purpose other than to help further the development of the central white character(s). I just find it exhausting to watch & very un-fun.
*I absolutely abhor this trope
The Big Sexy Problem with Superheroines and Their ‘Liberated Sexuality’
Seriously, read the whole thing. It’s a fantastic piece (though, sadly, not the first and probably not the last of its kind):
…I have long maintained that to bring in more female readers, superhero comics don’t even need to specifically target women as much as they need to not actively offend them. This is not an insanely hard to thing to do, and yet here we are.
…[This] is the whole problem with this false notion of “sexually liberated” female characters: These aren’t those women. They’re how dudes want to imagine those women would be — what Wire creator David Simon called writing “men with t*ts.” They read like men’s voices coming out of women’s faces. Or worse, they read like the straight girls who make out with each other at clubs […] because they desperately want guys to pay attention to them.
This is not about these women wanting things; it’s about men wanting to see them do things, and that takes something that really should be empowering — the idea that women can own their sexuality — and transforms it into yet another male fantasy. It takes away the actual power of the women and turns their “sexual liberation” into just another way for dudes to get off. And that is at least ten times as gross as regular cheesecake, minimum.
Below on the left, I submit to you one of the starkest visual differences between men and women in superhero comics. On the ground, we see how the editors and writers and artists have chosen to dress a male Lantern, and standing above him we see how they have chosen to dress a female Lantern. These characters didn’t appear out of thin air one day; someone designed them to look the way they look, and designed it for a very specific reason. And those design choices shape the way that the universe treats women generally. And on a more personal level, it also plays a big role in how DC Comics tells me they see people like me. Because I know that institutionally, they don’t treat men like that; we’re never going to see a major hero like Hal Jordan in a costume like one on the right as imagined by Deviant Artist Bionarri.
In Red Hood and the Outlaws, this is DC Comics tells me a male hero looks like, and what a female hero looks like:
In Catwoman, this is what DC Comics tells me a male hero looks like, and what a female hero looks like:
…[W]hat I keep coming back to is that superhero comics are nothing if not aspirational. They are full of heroes that inspire us to be better, to think more things are possible, to imagine a world where we can become something amazing. But this is what comics like this tell me about myself, as a lady: They tell me that I can be beautiful and powerful, but only if I wear as few clothes as possible. They tell me that I can have exciting adventures, as long as I have enormous breasts that I constantly contort to display to the people around me. They tell me I can be sexually adventurous and pursue my physical desires, as long as I do it in ways that feel inauthentic and contrived to appeal to men and kind of creep me out.…
And I’m tired. I’m so, so tired of hearing those messages from comics because they aren’t the dreams or the escapist fantasies or the aspirations that I want to have. They don’t make me feel joyful or powerful or excited. They make me feel so goddamn sad that I want to cry, because I have devoted my entire life to comics, and when I read superhero books like these I realize that most of the time, they don’t give a sh*t about me.
"We don’t allow men’s sexuality to dehumanize them in our eyes. If a young man spends his weekends partying and flirting with women, and spends his time in the classroom pulling down As, we don’t see that as a contradiction. The belief that female sexual expression is uniquely dehumanizing is a double standard, no matter how much you dress it up in feminist language. Instead of condemning young women for the length of their skirts, why not use that energy for condemning anyone who would think that a woman is lesser-than because she wears a miniskirt?"
Amanda Marcotte response to Lisa Belkin’s article on social inequalities between men and women on college campuses. (via feministslut)