yet they still go back to that asshole. fuck you!
No, fuck you. If I have to read another one of these bullshit things, I will start kicking and punching everyone like I’m a kid at a hardcore show.
Maybe she isnt interested in “another guy”? Just because they’re friends & he treats her well doesn’t mean she has to drop everything and fuck him because of it. And how the hell would you feel if you found out someone was your friend only because they were hoping to get in your pants? Let’s grow up, people. Damn!
I’M GONNA MAKE IT, I’M GONNA MAKE IT.
Men are the EMPOWERED majority, yet women are the MAJORITY.
Keep Your “Chivalry” To Yourself, Please.
I have been told by some that Feminism is a silly lifestyle to participate in, that it is riddled with hypocrisies. The specifics have varied, but one of the more interesting ideas is the “chivalry” argument. “You want equal treatment, but you still expect a guy to pay for your meal!” I hear. Not true.
I do not expect a guy to pay for my meal all the time. I do sometimes, but it has nothing to do with his sex. In my opinion, the person who did the asking out should pay. If a man asks a woman out to dinner, it should be his treat. If a woman asks a man out, she should pay the bill. I have taken my boyfriend out for coffee, ice cream, lunch, and lots of other awesome dates on numerous occasions and he has done the same for me. Sometimes we go splitsies because neither of us are really rolling in dough at this point, but that’s always agreed upon beforehand. Being asked on a date implies that the one asking is “taking you out” and will pay for it, and no one is forcing the man to do the asking.
I have the same philosophy when buying a drink for someone. The way I see it, buying someone a drink is a way to spark a conversation. Something about this person has caught your eye and you’d like to talk to them more, so you buy them a drink. It’s not a contract, you don’t have to go home with the person, hell, you don’t even have to keep talking to them if it turns out you don’t click well. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for a few years now and I have paid for others drinks and have had them bought for me. If the person offering seems cool, I don’t turn it down, but I don’t let myself believe that I have to do anything more than talk to this person, if even that! In fact, the first (and only) time I have ever actually slapped someone was on my 21st birthday. A guy who had bought me a few drinks began insisting that I should want to have sex with him. I asked why and he said, “I bought you drinks, you have to be attracted to me!” I slapped him in the face (albeit I was a little tipsy so that may not have been the best approach). So in short, no, I don’t expect anyone to buy me drinks because I am a woman. If you think I’m cool and want to get to know me better over a drink, awesome. And if I think you are cool enough for me to dig into my sparse wallet and have a conversation, then I’ll do it. But none of this has to do with gender.
Then there is holding the door open. I do this for people all the time! If they have a lot of bags and can’t open the door themselves I will help out. If someone is just really close behind me and the door would slam in their face if I let it close, I’ll swing it open a little harder so they can scoot in after me without getting hit. And in the same way, I expect someone to hold the door open for me if I’m burdened with stuff and have a hard time with it on my own. Once again, nothing to do with gender. It’s a simple courtesy.
I once met someone who really believed in the whole “chivalry” deal. He stood up when a woman entered the room. He pulled out chairs for us when we sat down at his table. He winked at us and called one friend a “clever girl” when we made good points in class. And guess what? We hated it. Absolutely hated it. It was impossible to discuss anything with him because he would always dismiss my (and other women’s) arguments with an air of “oh how cute, you’re thinking.” His misogyny was so hard to combat because he shielded it with the guise of chivalry and politeness. At one point I thought I might be crazy. I thought he might just be a nice guy and I was reading into things, so I asked around and everyone agreed with me. No one liked being treated like they couldn’t handle themselves, or that their well thought out opinions were just adorable because it was being said by someone with the suffix “Ms.” attached to their name.
So to answer those who complain about this perceived hypocrisy among feminists, I expect nothing more from you than simple politeness. The same politeness you would give to any human being. I ask that you listen to me when I talk, because I listen. I expect you to help me out when I’m struggling because I would help you. Treat me the way that you would want to be treated, not because I’m a woman, but because that’s the right thing to do.