if women call you creepy, I want you to realize you are probably creepy.
the way you show affection is probably creepy. the way you talk to women is probably creepy.
there is not giant lady-led conspiracy to call actually nice people creepy. you are just creepy.
No photos of Gackt?
But… He’s gorgeous…
My apologies, I’m just not into men who wear more makeup than I do.
But for those of y’all who like pretty mofos….
In terms of what people find attractive, to each their own. But subtly digging comments like “I’m just not into men who wear more make up than I do” is condescending, mean-spirited, and it’s aimed at both men who don’t fall into stereotypically masculine appearances and at people who find them attractive. I actually have a ton of issues with this blog. On one hand, it’s great that Asian men are getting attention and being seen as sexually attractive. That’s fantastic. What I DON’T like is that the owner of the blog is not only non-Asian, but also has professed their “love for Asians” many times. I talk a lot about fetishes that end up objectifying Asian females, but it’s pretty disturbing regardless of the gender. I’ve spoken to friends who have also experienced the Fetish, such as getting stereotyped as bottoms or submissive simply because they are of Asian descent.
Racial. Fetishes. Are. Not. Good.
The weird thing about racist straight cis men is that the more racist said men are, the more likely they are to hit on me.
Directly proportional. Also, the more racist said men are, the more likely it is that their opening pick up line will be something like, “Ni hao, sweethearrrrrt”
It’s because they’re also misogynists, and the culture has told them that Oriental women are subservient and don’t have the same expectations as those evil Feminist harpies.
I understand how the sexual double-standard oppresses women
Men are free to have lots of sex without comment, women aren’t. I get that.
But I have two additions to make:
1. It’s not ‘allowed’, it’s ‘expected’. These are gender roles, and they are parallel. Men are expected to be sexually active, women are expected not to be. This means that men and women are both under a lot of pressure to fulfil those expectations, and that both are punished by society if we fail to do so. If you think slut-shaming for women is bad and restrictive, you should try being a man facing virgin-shaming, and who is under unbelievable pressure every day to have lots of sex, or be less of a man. As with virtually every ‘women’s issue’, there is another side.
And you don’t think “virgin-shaming” exist for women? Women are told they are supposed to be virginal and be sexually active/available for men. It is called the virgin/whore dichotomy. Women are told they have to be sexual and virginal at the same time. “Virgin-shaming” exist for everyone, not just men. It is expected of men to be sexual and do you know who created that expectation? Men. Funny how patriarchy works.
Women need to be told that it’s okay to have sex, but men equally need to be told that it’s okay not to. That the former is addressed and the latter neglected is bad enough (misandry not being acknowledged is hardly news), but that it’s seen as a good solution to blindly promoted promiscuity, being a ‘slut’, and having lots of sex, actively works against the latter - you think men aren’t told all of that enough? Try to see the bigger picture here.
Misandry doesn’t exist, so it’s not being acknowledged. Funny how that works. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy. Shocking, I know. Everyone needs to be told it is okay to have sex on their terms and embrace their sexuality. This whole “men need to be told one thing and women another” is bullshit. Everyone suffers in our fucked up educational system where comprehensive sex ed is not taught in every single school. People know jackshit about sex and sexuality and that is a problem. No one argues it is good to just “blindly promote promiscuity” because feminist -shockingly- know not everyone wants to be promiscuous. Feminist tell men to embrace their sexuality and have sex on their own term. Funny enough, that is the same damn thing we tell women.
2. The feminist version of this double standard is just as bad, but reversed. Let me demonstrate:
A man having lots of sex with lots of female partners? He’s a womanising misogynist, and any media depicting this lifestyle obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.
A woman having lots of sex with lots of male partners? She’s embracing her sexuality, any media showing this lifestyle is progressive, and anybody hating the way she acts is obviously a slut-shaming misogynist who obviously thinks women are objects, and therefore should be hated.
Feminist don’t have some harmful version of the double standard. I don’t know what you are smoking, but I would love some! No one says men cannot have a lot of sex with women. Who do you think straight women who like having a lot of sex are fucking? Hint: not other women. Men can have many female sex partners and not be a misogynistic asshole. However, there are men out there who do see the women they fuck as just objects and their property. These men exist. There are also men are feminist who have a lot of sex with women. Have you actually seen media representations of women having a lot of sex? It is not empowering to say the least. It is usually incredibly misogynistic because it is depicting her as a “whore” who is using her body to trap a man, use a man, etc. The media does not depict an authentic view of peoples sexuality. I find it embarrassing that you think the media depicts women’s sexuality in a positive and progressive because women’s sexuality is usually always depicted for male pleasure. So fucking progressive. /rolleyes
The feminist knack to turn two parallel situations into both being oppressive to women and only women is uncanny, but it really doesn’t help the fight against male suffering. So can we ditch all double standards, please. Either you’re pro-promiscuity, or you’re not. It doesn’t make you sexist either way - but it makes you sexist if you’reboth ways at once. You’re a misogynist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (although, as shown above, this makes you a misandrist too), but you’re also a misandrist if you think that men should be able to have sex but not women (as our feminist does here - but again, the two overlap).
You clearly do not understand the sex positive movement. Feminist are for promoting an authentic sexuality for everyone! That means we believe everyone should be able to do as they please sexually. Which means we support people who chose not to have sex and people who chose to have sex. It is you who thinks people should be forced to be pro-promiscuity or pro-abstinence. That is not how feminist works. Feminist fight to end the way people view sexuality which only hurts everyone. Misandrist don’t exist. Everything you have mentioned is part of patriarchy but why would you know that? You want to uphold the system since it benefits you. You were also talking out of your ass in this entire post since you know nothing about feminism.
tl;dr: you don’t understand the sexual double standard and feminism. This post is just embarrassing.
Appropriate image is appropriate.
Why I Am Hesitant of “Feminist” Culture
I am very much for egalitarian values. In that respect, I am a feminist But it’s one of those situations where it’s not the idea or the movement or the thing itself that you are hesitant about — but rather, many of the people that represent it, you find to be intolerable.
Enough of the feminists I have known were led to feminism after a lifetime and childhood of male abuse — not only sexual and physically violent abuse, but parental emotional abuse on behalf of father figures, and even brothers, and other such male roles. Don’t get me wrong. I empathize with this situation. I think it’s horrible that often times, you are just not powerful enough to resist such things: You are smaller, you are a child, you are weaker, etc. It is always horrible when a weaker party is abused by a stronger party. However, this form of abuse results in emotional and psychological instability, and especially when this instability is related to and founded in male abuse, it is difficult to discuss and address feminism with the subject.
Often in feminism, you encounter the woman who wants every man to be the enemy. Once I made a comment about not being very into big girls, but not being very into tiny, thin girls either, and this one girl flipped out on me, as though she doesn’t have preferences in males herself. Her anger at male dominated society isn’t logical. It’s just all over the place, and I have honestly been forced to deal with it from my close friends enough in my life that I am hesitant when someone says, “I’m a feminist.” What I generally think of is that you’re possibly a person who was abused by males and is going to be moody about certain issues and likely snap at me and call me a pig if I don’t take care not to say something that has to do with males and females.
And it’s sad that it has to be that way… because otherwise, I totally agree with egalitarian idealism. I don’t understand why anyone would ever accuse me of being a misogynist. And most feminists wouldn’t, I’ll admit. But it has occurred, and it has occurred in friendships that were very important to me. So it kind of stings and it kind of hurts.
One Final Comment: If you want to be sexually promiscuous, I will think of your behavior in precisely the same way that I tend to think of anyone’s sexually promiscuous behavior. When I have been sexually promiscuous, I will feel about myself and my behavior in a way that I would expect anyone else to, If they don’t choose to look at it that way, that’s their business, and if I am not attracted to their lifestyle, that is my business.
So basically…you’re totally into equality until a woman expects you to act like it.
Also, I feel your pain about having some woman call you a misogynist stinging. I’m sure it hurts much worse than the abuse you assume she suffered at the hands of another man.
The Scarlet Woman’s Sexpose #2: Explaining feminism to men - an examination of privelege
**trigger warning: descriptions of rape
Searching the feminism tag on tumblr I came accross this question, from the following user:
I’ll admit I don’t know much about feminism, or activism or anything like that. I’m all for gender equality and will admit the world is more geared toward men. Its true I cant argue with that. But I’ve seen my fair share of sexism that goes in womens favor as well. And also women get away with quite a bit. I dont know what it is women go through because I’m not a woman, I’ve listened to a lot of them speak. Even took a womens studies class to further my understanding.( Two guys in the class, myself and another guy, he dropped so I was alone…WOW) But mainly my reasoning for this entry is wondering what is it feminism is fighting for. It seems as if in my opinion that whenever something goes wrong, its a mans fault or, its because of something male dominated.
Is the point of feminism to overthrow what is seen as Male rule or, make things equal. Every entry I read dealing with the subject is blaming men for just about any and everything, also it seems like its just pure hatred. Women get mad at me for holding the door for them now. I dont understand it. I’m sorry I was brought up being taught to protect women, not because they arent able, but if you see a woman unable to do something strength wise, or just if you can help, I feel you should help. Id help any man just the same, and I have helped both genders on many occasions without expectation of any compensation at all. Thats just the way I am. I guess I just want a better understanding of it all.
This is a really common question that I hear from guys, and I thought I would take some time to answer it. The question manifests itself in different ways - what is this ’feminism’? isn’t it just about man hating though? What’s your deal anyway?
So what follows is an explanation of feminism, for men. It is comprehensive, so if you’re a tl;dr, this may not be for you. But try anyways! Because some of y’all need to be schooled.
I have met a ton of guys who are inherently suspicious about feminism, sometimes without even being able to explain why. I can tell you why - it’s because if you are a male (this intensifies if you are a WHITE male), you’ve got something I don’t have. You may not even know you have it - in fact, you most likely don’t. In the way that you are continually breathing but can’t see and don’t ever stop to wonder about the air in front of you, this exists around you. It’s called privelege.
Men are priveleged in the world in a way that women have never been. It is unearned - you didn’t do anything for it, you didn’t earn it, you just have it. Just because you’re a man, you have it. You were born with it, but unlike a disease or illness that doctors can spot right away, privelege is invisible. Probably no one would have told you about it or talked to you about it. You may have gone your entire life up until this moment without having ever heard about it. And yet it has been as much a part of your life as breathing, unseen but at the same time, entirely present.
Now, don’t stop reading! No one is blaming you for anything (yet). Because even though I’m telling you that you have this thing, we haven’t explored what privelege is yet. The standard resource on privelege is a text by Peggy McIntosh called ‘White Privelege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack’. It’s been used for a long time to explain the ways in which white persons are inherently but unconsciously priveleged over people of colour, and the ways in which most white people are completely unaware of this fact.
So reading that you may have realized that ‘privelege’ isn’t just for men. Lots of people have privelege! If you’re a white male or female, you have white privelege over people of colour, for example. As a white female, I have inherent and unearned privelege over women of colour. What we’re talking about today is specifically male privelege. Our society is built upon these invisible power hierarchies and every day we unconciously perpetuate them. There are a couple things about privelege that it’s important to understand:
1. Privelege is not your fault, and it’s not inherently bad.
The following passage is from a really great article on privelege written by livejournal user brown_betty called ‘A Primer on Privelege: What it is and what it isn’t’ :
Privilege is not: About you, the individual. Privilege is not your fault. Privilege is not anything you’ve done, or thought, or said. It may have allowed you to do, or think, or say things, but it’s not those things, and it’s not because of those things. Privilege is not about taking advantage, or cheating, although privilege may make this easier. Privilege is not negated. I can’t balance my white privilege against my female disadvantage and come out neutral. Privilege is not something you can be exempt from by having had a difficult life. Privilege is not inherently bad. It really isn’t.
See? I told you! Almost everyone is the world has SOME kind of privelege over other people. Are you able bodied? Your are priveleged over disabled people. Are you able to go into a restaraunt and order whatever you want? You are priveleged over people with severe food allergies, celiac disease, and other serious gastro-intestinal problems. Sounds like a funny example, but I want to highlight the different kinds of privelege that exist - some that seem mundane, and some that don’t.
Read more after the jump!
Feminism is simply a support group for insecure women.
Who probably post their tits on the internets because their body is “beauuuutiful” and to show how confident they are! Honestly, just look at yourself from a third person perspective, do you know how ridiculous you look? Unfollow me, I honestly don’t care. You shove your ideals down everyone’s throat and then turn into a bunch of women and get upset when anyone sends it back your way. Don’t bother replying, I won’t take you seriously and it will be mad lulz.
And no, this isn’t a personal stab at anyone. This is about women in general. I’m not saying you’re like this. I’m not saying you’re not equal to me. I am simply saying, and more women than not actually agree with me, that as a species…Men > women. You can’t expect something that’s been accepted for thousands of generations to change in one.
Wow… I didn’t know being a feminist made you rich! Where do I get all that money? Maybe I can stop worrying about how to buy groceries…
Where are all those women that inherently believe men are better than women?
I don’t expect an actual response, but I though my followers might get some enjoyment out of this particular bit of fail.“Don’t bother replying, I won’t take you seriously and it will be mad lulz” Translation: please don’t reply, for your counter-arguments based on the coherent logic and reasoning that mine are so desperately lacking will simply be too much for my little brain to handle. Hence why I am forced to resort to playground taunts and outlandish, ill-informed statements that I will attempt to pass off as fact despite providing no evidence whatsoever to back them up, in the hope that you will accept as reality and not merely my backward opinion Seriously, come back when you learn to debate like an adult, then perhaps WE might take YOU seriously. Until then, I remain a proud feminist, and continue to believe that no gender is superior to the other, thus your little rant has achieved nothing, except presented us with a poor, uneducated reflection of yourself.
Holy shit! I knew something was up. I’ve been an insecure woman all this time, I thought I was a moderately-secure man!
Woah, when did this happen?!
H&M’s skirt in the Spring Collection of 2010
Oh! Oh! I want that! I want that very much. How much is it?
I… I wish I looked like that in a skirt.
omg H&M I love you for trying to make manskirts happen.
I love it but A-lines don’t work on me, and H&M uses silly sizing.