As a Filipin@-American girl who’s been surrounded by white people since day 1 of living in America, can I just say that I am SICK and TIRED of being quiet about “casual” racism.
Like when my family would go out to eat, we’d get approached by white people, COMPLETE STRANGERS, who would ask us (oh so nicely) where we’re from.
Because you know, this white lady has a son working in Cambodia.
And this other white fool has a Japanese adopted grandson.
And we’d always just smile and say “oh how nice.” That’s what people expect to get when they approach us.
White people believe that they ask us this shit as an act of KINDNESS, to make us feel like “oh yeah we totally have something in common with you, unknown white person.”
Because, you know, the fact that we’re eating spaghetti and chicken wings and pizza while speaking ENGLISH to each other isn’t enough of a fucking similarity for them. No, our eyes and dark hair just throw all those other similarities out the window, and the only possible similarity we can have with these white fools, in their mind, is that we look like someone they know.
And you know what else they’re telling my family when they do this shit to us?
That they feel like they have the right to interrupt our FAMILY TIME. Because you KNOW they don’t approach random white families for trivial shit like this. We’re the MODEL MINORITY and we’re passive and demure and our kind just takes shit like this.
You know what I really wanted to tell them?
“THE FUCK DO I CARE ABOUT YOUR WHITE SON IN CAMBODIA? WHAT, DO YOU THINK I RAN INTO HIM ON MY BOAT RIDE HERE? DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT US FROM LOOKING AT HIS PICTURES OF HIM SURROUNDED BY BROWN PEOPLE? THE FUCK DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT, WHITEY?”
But the cruel irony is that they won’t see what they did wrong, and they might treat the next Asian family they see like shit because they got offended at what I said.
So I stay quiet and get sicker, and sicker, and SICKER.
what I mean when I say I hate white people
- the most important thing to remember is that I don’t actually hate white people. I just hate White People.
- I hate white people because it’s so fucking easy for them - easy for them to be racist and easy for them to point their fingers at other, ‘more racist’ white people, while asking me if, you know, they did well, waiting expectantly for me to give them a fucking honorary-POC get-out-of-jail-free card for the next time they make a joke out of my culture and my history.
- the expectation that I have to teach them about my culture, about my anger as an Asian American woman, and why am I so offended anyway when they ask me how to tell the difference between Asians? Why is it so offensive to perpetuate stereotypes if they’re ~*true*~?
- and if I don’t explain my anger calmly, in a way that makes it clear this is directed towards those other, actually racist white people and not the person I’m speaking to, who is clearly an enlightened exception to the rule who just didn’t know the proper terminology, then I am an angry, bitter, reverse racist, spitting seething POC bitch and I surely can’t expect people to listen to me if I can’t even talk civilly!
- oh but wait DO I EVEN COUNT AS A REAL POC? I’M PRETTY LIGHT SKINNED, RIGHT? ASIANS ARE TAKING OVER THE UCS, RIGHT? WE’RE PRETTY WELL OFF, RIGHT? THE MODEL MINORITY ISN’T JUST A MYTH, RIGHT? Don’t fuck with me, I know what you think and I see your skepticism, and, you know what, if other PoC want to debate this with me, I’m all ears - I am well-aware of the racism within the Asian American community and the tensions between Asian Americans (especially East Asians/light skinned Asians) and other communities but, white people, you, of all people, do not get to make that decision for me.
- white people having. it. so. easy. I have lived and will live every day of my life always hating myself a little bit even though I have finally learned how to love myself and cut the bullshit, I will always remember that, to some white person, I am not good enough, not smart enough, and definitely never American enough.
- I also hate white people for making me hate myself for the majority of my life thus far - I have learned to always second-guess myself, to always undervalue my worth because that’s always the safer route, to soften my anger when I always need it sharp, to believe and buy into, even for a second, the stereotypes, to find it hard to believe in myself, because my race has always meant everything. I will always know I amAsian American thanks to every fucking white person who has asked me where I’m from, no, they mean, where I’m really from.
- for worrying that I’m not being fun, that I’m being the party pooper of the privileged white kid party, that when I don’t find mildly racist and classist humor offensive, it’s because there’s something wrong with me, I am too serious about hating white people for me to ever truly be funny, because caring about issues is so UNCOOL and God, when I do my “Asian thing” - it’s just so awkward, you know? Everyone at the table feels awkward, why can’t I just let it go? It’s not like there’s real racism here or anything, right?
- And, God, just - white people. Having it so easy.
today’s anxiety attack was brought to me by this asshattery IRL.
The story of how I almost got shot by a racist white man.
I was assaulted when I was a teen by a middle aged white redneck before…..over a movie theater entrance!!!
I had already paid for my ticket. Left, got some ice cream, and came back. I’m going through the door to bypass the lines and this guy on his way out suddenly bumps into me hard. I’m thinking it’s a simple “oops we bumped into each other” for a split second. I’m a pretty big dude so the bump felt like it was just my mass. I even said, my bad. But I noticed he backed up and kept trying to keep me from getting in the door. Now I’m confused. I back up and I’m like, what’s your problem? He’s like, “You gotta pay like everyone else.” I say, “I did. I’m going to show my stub to the ticket guy. I’m not trying to movie jump.” So I try to reach for the door again and this dude really put his hands on me and pushed me….hard! I’m normally a cool headed person but I was furious. I pushed him back and told him not to put his hands on me. I’m heated. I ask him again what his problem is. I paid for my ticket. And he says, “I don’t like your kind. Always trying to get a free ride.” I can imagine my face turned red. But I kept relatively cool and just let him know, he’s not security. He has no rights to put his hands on me. Let the ticket guy check my stub. At that point I was under the false assumption that you could reason with white people. Not this guy. He was feeling his white privilege strong that day.
here is some real shit about white people fucking up
Fun fact: my BF is white. He is the shining sun of my sky, he is my everything, he is all the romantical romance and practical everyday love and support that i ever dreamed a partner could be.
Back when we were still dating, he said something to me when he was drunk, about me, that was so unspeakably racist and EVEN more racist in retrospect than it was at the time, that i don’t think i can ever fucking forgive him. ever. and every time he does or says something that makes me think of that thing he said, I tell him so. And I tell him again how that shit crushed and crushes my fucking soul. that he did that to me because of his dumbass shitty racist ass whiteness.
And he takes it, and will continue to take it for the rest of our lives. Because he deserves it, because inflicted a wound that will never heal, that will always sometimes make me question how he feels about me. Because why should that be MY burden to bear? It’s not mine. I give it back to him very time it starts to settle on my shoulders.
Because fuck that.
He fucked up. And sometimes he stays fucking up.
This is why I really kinda feel a lot of the people I follow on here that just don’t go out with white people. It’s about preserving your self, your soul. I’ve dated a fair amount of white people and it’s always there. It’s always something. It’s like they can just carve the guts right out of you and not even notice. it’s fucking white supremacy, and the fact that they can do that and just go on their merry way and not even fucking notice and turn around and say they love you….it’s seriously the worst.
do you think that i don’t ever question it, that even as happy as i am and as happy as he makes me, i don’t sometimes wonder if it might be….too much?
because white people stay fucking up. they DO.
even the ones i love. even the ones I’m related to, and the ones i choose to love and live my life with.
so if you think I’m gonna have some goddamn understanding and sympathy for some doucheass white people being all like, “ehhhh, i’m white i don’t know these things’
yeah, fuck you.
i feel this so much. i’ve had those types of incidents with the two white people i dated. but also since my moms side is white, i have a few memories of things my grandpa said that in retrospect hurt really bad and recently that were fucked up, that i don’t think i will ever forgive or forget. i love him, but it’s the truth. and he just won’t and can’t understand. which is also why i can’t bring myself to have relationships with white people on a sexual/emotional level beyond maybe some casual friendship/acquaintance type shit. white people have destroyed my life in many ways, i’ll never forget that.
I suddenly remembered Terra today. I think because Filipinafemme posted a cover of the Teen Titans theme song.
Terra has always had a special place in my heart…looking back at her story years later, I now understand that it’s because I saw my fucked up life in hers— i saw myself in her; the way she was parentless. The way she suffered from some kind of trauma that no one knew but her. The way she wanted to be safe and okay but was easily hurt by others.
And as much as I hated what happened to her later in the series, I understood why she turned evil. I understood her need to lash out at other people because she had been hurt. I appreciated that complexity, because I also saw that possibility within me.
I have a lot of feelings for Terra, and her story feels even more relevant to me now than when I was a teenager. Terra/Teen Titans fanfiction was the only fanfiction I’ve ever seriously cared about.
Omg, I saw one episode with her in it, because I never really got into TT, and was instantly hooked on her character. I was always so disappointed that I never was able to catch another episode with her.
ahhhh you must watch these episodes. they are so good (but heartbreaking). here they are in order:
NOT TALKING ABOUT RACISM WILL NOT END RACISM
What kind of logic is that anyway? Let’s not talk about race issues and then they’ll go away and we can all skip through grassy fields in harmony.
Um, fuck no.
You know what not talking about racism can do to me as a black woman?
Do you have any idea?
If everybody stops talking about it, that doesn’t mean it’s going to disappear. That means that racist fucks get a chance to run wild (more than they already do) and have a good-ass time since nobody wants to talk about it. That is the act of ignoring something. Stop repeating that dumb shit. STOP. YOU ARE WRONG. You will never, ever be right. Because, truth be told, if we stop talking about racism, we’re digging our own graves. THAT is what yall need to pass around. Tell it like it is and stop pretending the shit will just magically go away.
And if you can’t do that and you don’t want to listen to people talk about race issues, you ignore it on your own damn time. But don’t you dare stop people from bringing awareness to certain issues because it rubs YOU the wrong way. That’s selfish. And supporting your selfish ass beliefs with something as stupid as that quote does NOT make you right.
adventure time theme song
BECAUSE REASONS (that’s the first time i’ve ever used that phrase on tumblr — worth the wait!!!)
What about you fuck off.
Have you seen the way Americans treat live stock, the way we cram animals into small barns and factories. The way we kill them, pigs are killed in extremely inhumane ways. Chickens die off of disease because of the poor health conditions of those factories. Don’t throw stones from your glass view of the world.
How about I’m desensitized to animal cruelty because historically Asians have been treated like subhuman animals, eh?
How about there’s this thing called famine, and the Vietnam War, and World War II, and third world poverty, and the Korean War, and the Communist revolution, and a couple of fucking tsunamis which basically meant OH LOOK THERE IS NO FOOD LET ME EAT WHATEVER I CAN SCROUNGE BECAUSE FUCK YOU, IT’S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE TOFURKY IN WAR ZONES.
How about what the fuck is this shit about eating dogs being cruel. Fuck you. What about motherfucking pate, eh?
How about you need to shut the fuck up and do your research before getting on your white vegan soapbox and bitching about other cultures you know nothing about.
And how about WHAT THE FUCK “ASIANS DON’T HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF REGARD FOR LIFE” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL HOPE YOU DON’T MEAN THE FACT THAT STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE MEANS FEEDING OUR CHILDREN WITH WHATEVER IS AVAILABLE BECAUSE GODDAMN, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY RESPECTFUL OF LIFE TO ME.
Black men are not a fetish, they are wonderful, complex individuals, not big black mandingos or savage sex maniacs.
Using the ‘jungle fever’ shows how simple, and ignorant you are of the black man’s value, especially the contribution he can make to a sexual, but also romantic, emotional relationship.
If you use the term ‘jungle fever’ to describe your attraction to black men, basically you’re a dumbass and you don’t deserve a black man.
[Image description: A colour photograph of a manatee, side on, just poking its head out of the water. Its eyes are still half submerged. TEXT: “You are not an idiot. Please stop telling yourself that. You are a good and smart person who makes mistakes sometimes, and that is okay.”]
The punk band Rebel Riot: The band was founded in 2007 during the period when the military junta cracked down on the so-called “Saffron Revolution” launched by Buddhist monks. Thousands of demonstrators were arrested then, and soldiers were ordered to fire upon their own people. People in Burma are still deeply shocked by these events.
In Burma, punk is far more than just a superficial copy of its Western counterpart. Here, what is probably the most rebellious of all subcultures in the Southeast Asian country is going up against one of the world’s most authoritarian regimes. Punk gives young Burmese a chance to symbolically spit in the face of the hated government, which took power in 2010 in the wake of what was widely considered a fraudulent election. Although the government has shown initial signs of greater open-mindedness, which included the release of political prisoners in recent months, Burma is still far from a state that embraces the rule of law.
From the article Burma’s Punk Scene Fights Repression Underground.