this should not have floored me but OH MY GOODNESS DID IT THOUGH
another one of those posts that fucks with your whole world view (in a good way)
And it’s not like I’m saying transphobic radscum have no ability to make my life hell or to use their cis privilege against me but are we really going to ignore the fucking realities of male violence and hegemony or
No, we’re not.
Men should be held accountable for their crimes and violence - but so should women!! Women are capable of rape, violence, transphobia, racism & sexism! Being a woman or a feminist doesn’t make you incapable of these things!!
Not all men are rapists and not all rapists are men!! This is an important fact to consider!
I have every goddamn right to be fearful of men than women because men commit the majority of these crimes.
Some people don’t understand that the reason people are always talking about the crimes men commit is because men commit virtually all documented (and undocumented) sexual crimes…
The thing is, there is a reason that women are scared of men and men are barely ever scared of women. It’s a fear of being taken advantage of. Men do not go about their days being fearful and feeling like “oh god maybe i shouldnt go out tonight” , “let me call my friend and see if she wants to come with me” , “girl wait outside in the car til i get in the house”, and things like that…
Apparently even the “I Want a Latina Girlfriend” San Diego billboard has Jessica Valenti saying “but what about the white people?”
I’m sorry but I’m breaking teh embargo maybe it’s a bitter day maybe it’s teh shit news.
I did as much research as I could find and I don’t know that Roxane Gay is or is not LATin@ but I’m gonna go with no
it’s not funny
Two NON LATINAs don’t get to be ” funny” and uncritical about this shit.
Especially not two feminists with NO and I mean NO link to why this is kind of creepy and disgusting.
This isn’t blanket rape culture, this isn’t blanket sexism.
This isn’t your damn joke. This is why folks say awful nasty things about Latina’s thatd eny them jobs.
and protection from law.
He advertised for a partner the way you advertise for a good morgatage BECAUSE these women are LATINA, not cause their women.
You want that kind of reputation , promise me you’ll take the other stuff too. The degradation , the lack of money, teh struggle
You’re *wink wink * nuge nudging at the fact taht well we never have to deal with that right !! Aren’t we so lucky
There are plenty of things to find humor in for you but when Latina’s are CONSTANTLy being treated as hot spicy for sale ass you don’t DO THAT to other women out of one side of your mouth
and then come out your mouth about rape culture for another.
does anyone else feel the same way about that “test your drink for roofies” product?
i really need people to stop acting like some miracle product is going to eradicate rape culture
why would we rather burden people everywhere (financial resources, mental energy, etc.) with their own safety rather than hold fucking rapists and people who drug drinks accountable and teach young people to be decent
THERE SHOULD NOT BE A MARKET THAT PROFITS FROM WOMEN’S SAFETY / FEAR OF RAPE
UGH MAKES ME LIVID
I agree and disagree with you at the same time. I think the product isn’t aiming to erase rape culture, it’s trying to help women operate within it.
That being said, it also in its own way upholds rape culture by giving women another way to to incorporate the fear of being raped into their everyday lives & nights out. And it takes the responsibility out of the hands of the perpetrator and into the hands of the victim.
So it’s totally awful product, but I don’t think it’s trying to be. I think the creators were trying to be helpful but missed the mark. But I feel like the creation of products & ideas like these and the subsequent critique is necessary to further the discourse on sexual assault.
the description of the product in the post said this :
“So Tumblr. You’re notorious for attacking rape culture; just think how much this could do to fix that problem. At time of posting DrinkSavvy is at $2,500 of its $50,000 goal. Let’s signal boost it.”
i myself would never deduce this product was aiming to erase rape culture. it was the text in the post that first brought up this idea and that made me really, really angry. eradicating rape culture is just another sales angle, and it doesn’t even make sense in the context it’s being used, which just shows crappy manipulation skills. (although maybe i’m wrong because the post has SO many notes.)
i suppose someone could argue that this helps women operate within rape culture, but the flip side is it’s just further fodder for the thinking “she deserved it because she wasn’t _________”. y’know, where the blank is every precaution women have to take to feel safe and to be treated as if they deserve safety. :/
it’s a complicated issue and one that i think deserves continuous dialogue.
“Your daddy’s gonna have to beat away the men with a stick.”
I hate this phrase, and I always have, though I didn’t really know *why* until now.
It’s fucking scary that a grown woman can look at a little girl and say that her father is going to have to physically back men away from her because she’s “so pretty.” It’s scary that rape is written into our every day language. It’s so casual. “You’re pretty. Men will want you. They won’t wait for your consent, and your dad will have to beat them off you with a stick.”
Because a woman’s consent doesn’t mean shit, but a grown man’s consent matters. Because men own women. Because women are only good for one thing. Because your body is not yours to own.
I never looked at it that way before, but fuck is that scary.
President Obama responds to rape statement (below) from Senate candidate Richard Mourdock:
“I struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize, life is a gift from god and even if life begins in the horrible situation of rape it is something god intended to happen.”
Men’s objectification of women is ALWAYS different than women’s objectification of men!
And here is why:
Almost all of the time, when a man objectifies a woman, he is physically able to force her to move from just being “admired” to actually having to be a sexual object for him. Simply put, he has the power to sexually assault her. So then, every “positive” comment, every cat call, every objectification, becomes a threat, because that man can decide to take it too far, and there is little the woman could do about it. That is why it is different. Objectification of anyone is wrong, particularly in a Christian context, but objectification of women by men is particularly problematic.
Perhaps if we didn’t live in a rape culture, it would be different. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
I really fucking hate it when white people are like “well most white people aren’t racist.”
like fuck you.
The reason you think most white people aren’t racist is because you’re NOT A FUCKING TARGET FOR WHITE PEOPLE’S RACISM.
I have heard the argument that “because I grew up in an area predominantly white, racism wasn’t an issue. Black people were just…normal. Really.”
No, bitch. It’s because there wasn’t as much opportunity to be racist.
And while we’re at it, the whole pro-men’s rights argument of “most men aren’t rapists/douchebags/creepers”?
Yeah, fuck you.
Because most men are not motherfucking trying to get you in bed.
Why do you think you’re so fucking homophobic? Is it because you think most gay men would want you in bed?
Why is it that somehow, that’s logical, but it’s not logical for me to say “motherfucker, do not touch my body when I do not want to be touched. I will not smile at your smarmy, bed-getting compliments.”
Dude, the gay man was just SITTING NEXT TO YOU and you motherfucking freaked. out.
basically, what I am trying to say:
Unless you are the target of a specific type of bigotry, there is no fucking way you can be an accurate judge re: the accuracy of said bigotry committed by a social demographic.
Because your sample size is just motherfucking small as fuck.
Not to mention they’re probably leaving out all the microaggressions they’ve perpetrated stereotypes proliferated, or the fact that they don’t even know any Black people at all. Add in what Whites refuse to recognize, don’t recognize as racism and you’ve got a huge problem.
“Not Racist” and “Anti-Racist” are not default, especially if you’ve never even begun the process of recognizing and unlearning shit.
[tw: rape] As a culture, we still refuse collectively to accept that most rapes are committed by ordinary men, men who have friends and families, men who may even have done great or admirable things with their lives. We refuse to accept that nice guys rape, and they do it often. Part of the reason we haven’t accepted it is that it’s a painful thing to contemplate – far easier to keep on believing that only evil men rape, only violent, psychotic men lurking in alleyways with pantomime-villain moustaches and knives, than to consider that rape might be something that ordinary men do. Men who might be our friends or colleagues or people we look up to. We don’t want that to be the case. Hell, I don’t want that to be the case. So, we all pretend it isn’t. Justice, see?
Actually, rape is very common. Ninety thousand people reported rape in the United States in 2008 alone, and it is estimated that over half of rape victims never go to the police, making the true figure close to 200,000. Between 10 and 20 per cent of women have experienced rape or sexual assault. It’s so common that – sorry if this hurts to hear – there’s a good chance you know somebody who might have raped someone else. And there’s more than a small chance he doesn’t even think he did anything wrong, that he believes that what he did wasn’t rape, couldn’t be rape, because, after all, he’s not a bad guy."
Laurie Penny: It’s nice to think that only evil men are rapists - that it’s only pantomime villains with knives in alleyways. But the reality is different
When a woman makes a post describing an experience with sexual harassment and rape culture and doesn’t actually state ALL men are like that and some cis men come forward to complain about how said woman needs to stop saying they are ALL like that.
And call her a cunt.
And then whine about not being recognized as the upstanding nice guys that they are…because fuck that cunt for talking about a creeper stalking her at 2 in the morning…
Fuck you. Here’s a sticker, now shut the fuck up.
When I say I’m pro-life…
It doesn’t mean I’m religious.
Because I’m not.
It doesn’t mean I hate LGBT community.
Because I am a supporter.
It doesn’t mean I force women to give birth.
Because I never will.
Take what you want from my blog, but never assume I’m just your stereotypical pro-lifer. It is VERY possible to ask questions, state your opinions in a civil manner on this blog. I am respectful and I enjoy answering all questions received!
Thanks for following! :)
Let me tell you some things.
I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world.
First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty. Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child. Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it?
Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?
End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening? I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either?
You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?
And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)
In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days. I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born!
Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle. You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours. Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage?
“Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.
FLAWLESS COMMENTARY ABOVE. COMPLETELY AGREED. I’d love to see speakfortheweak reply to this, though we all know she won’t.
Can’t not reblog this. -Joe