I hate this so much :( Because when I’m ready for bed, he’s up and when I’m up he’s going to bed :(
Plus my phone doesn’t let me view the time for Malaysia, so thats worse.
When I was in Malaysia, I got one of those watches with two faces so I could keep track of time at home. After I got back I kept one on Malaysia time while I got used to being home :P
(Source: , via yanniyogii)
How to fight low self-esteem
Because low self esteem is so common, especially among survivors, I thought I’d take a moment to address the topic.
We all know how important self-esteem is. A person’s self-image is how they see themselves, and it effects every aspect of functioning. People are programmed to cling to their self-image and ignore evidence that disagrees with it. When a person has an accurate self image, or one that is slightly higher than accurate (which is common), clinging to their ideas about themselves is healthy. When someone insults a person with a good self-image, clinging to self-image helps that person bounce back and function.
But what about negative self-image? No one would try to cling to that, right? Wrong. Most of us know that girl you can compliment all day, but she still clings to the idea that she’s ugly. That’s because she identifies herself as an ugly person. That’s who she is, and she needs to know who she is to function. By telling her she’s pretty, you’re telling her something that doesn’t fit with her ideas about the world, and that makes her uncomfortable. (This discomfort is clinically termed “cognitive dissonance” which refers to a great mental discomfort that happens when your ideas and experiences of the world don’t match up.) So, being uncomfortable, the girl with low self-esteem decides to believe what makes most sense to her. She retreats back to what she knows best: the idea that she is ugly.
If you struggle with self-esteem, you may have noticed this, too. Everyone in the class besides one person says you gave a great speech, but instead of focusing on the praise, you might focus on the one insult. That’s your mind looking to confirm what it already “knows”. How do you fight this? Force yourself to look at it logically.
If your mind is telling you something untrue, correct it. If you think “I’m so stupid,” because you made a mistake, correct that thought. Tell it that you are a smart person who simply made a mistake. If your mind tells you that you’re ugly, tell it why it’s telling you you’re ugly, such as “I’m only thinking I’m ugly because my abusers told me I was ugly,” and then pointing out times when the evidence showed that you were not ugly.
The bottom line is, your brain looks to confirm what it’s used to hearing. If you try to correct every lie with the truth, eventually your brain will become used to the truth and look to confirm it. You will begin paying more attention to the positive comments and actions towards you and dwell less on the negative. That’s worth the trouble, right?