Lister met his sons before they were born. How many people can say THAT?!
:3 hey guys…
FOREVER REBLOG. Hey guys, sorry I’ve inactive ;_; I plan to re-watch the series this summer. PREPARE FOR SPAM.
“DON’T EYEBALL ME, GHANDI.”
"Look, just because it’s an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber doesn’t mean it’s a bad person. What we’ve got to do is get it round a table and put together a solution package - perhaps over tea and biscuits."
‘Polymorph’. Episode 3, Series3. (via smegyeahreddwarf)
"[Rimmer comes to the table and salutes. Everyone at the table mocks it back]
Rimmer: Ha ha ha ha. Lister, where’s my revision timetable?
Chen: Sir, it’s Saturday night!
Lister: Come on, no one works Saturday night.
Rimmer: You don’t work *any* night. You don’t work any *day*.
Lister: ‘Skive hard, play hard,’ that’s our motto!
Rimmer: Look, I’ve got my engineering re-sit on Monday; I don’t know anything. Where’s my revision timetable?
Lister: Wait, is this the thing in a- in all different colours, with all the subjects divided into study periods and rest periods and self-testin’ times?
Rimmer: It took me seven weeks to make it. I’ve got to cram my whole revision into one night.
Lister: Hang on, this the thing with a note on it, in red, said, “Vital, valuable, urgent! Do not touch on pain of death!”?
Lister: I threw it away.
[laughter around the table]
Rimmer: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, tee-hee. Where is it?
Lister: Nah, I didn’t. I pinned it up on the wall.
Rimmer: What? Why?
Lister: To dry it out!
Rimmer: What do you mean, “dry it out”?
Lister: Well I spilt a goat vindaloo on it. Don’t worry, it’s a little bit red, but you can read most of it, especially if you scrape the lumps off.
[more laughter at the table]
Rimmer: You spoilt my…! No, I haven’t got time, I’m taking learning drugs and all I’m memorizing is this conversation.
Olaf Petersen: They’re illegal!
Rimmer: [trance-like] “Where’s my revision timetable, Lister?” “It’s Saturday night.” “No one works Saturday night.” “You don’t work any night. You don’t work any day.” “‘Skive hard play hard’ that’s our motto.” “Lister where’d you put my revision timetable?” “It’s Saturday night.” “No one works Saturday night.” “You don’t work any… "
Series 1, Episode 3. (via smegyeahreddwarf)
"Arnold Rimmer, Technician, 2nd Class. Captain’s remarks: “There’s a saying amongst the officers: If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. If it’s not worth doing, give it to Rimmer. Promotion prospects: comical."
Holly. Series 1, Episode 4 (via smegyeahreddwarf)
Well, the thing about a black hole - its main distinguishing feature - is it’s black. And the thing about space, the colour of space, your basic space colour, is black. So how are you supposed to see them?”
“But five of them? . How can you manage to miss five black holes?”
“It’s always the way, innit? You hang around for three million years in deep space and there hasn’t been one, then all of a sudden five turn up at once."
Holly and Rimmer. Series 3, Episode 2 (via smegyeahreddwarf)